i don’t really want to write.

i don’t really have anything to say. not anything that matters.

ryan saldana’s family is on my mind. constantly.

some people don’t understand. that’s okay. i won’t try and explain.

but i will explain how i know many of us are feeling.

sad.

hopeless.

helpless.

afraid.

confused.

angry.

sad.

scared.

i know what is the hardest to digest is how it was a tragic accident. an accident that parents worried about for years before my time and will continue long past.

there’s no illness to fight.

there’s no time to be mad. to be angry. he’s just gone. in one snap moment their lives were shattered and changed forever.

as someone who watches children and loves them deeply this rocks me to my core because it could happen to me.

it could happen to you.

none of us can say that it can’t.

i think that’s why so many of us are having a hard time with it. we are helpless to do anything to change what has happened and helpless at what to do to keep it from happening again.

all we can do is grieve for ryan. we can pray for his family. and we can be extra vigilant knowing that bad things just do happen when we least expect them in the worst ways.

hug them a little tighter. watch over them a little longer. hold those hands a little tighter.

that’s what’s on my mind.