my first post of 2014……

I’ve been oddly quiet on here for quite some time and I’m sorry.

Truthfully, since finding Kate and Chasing Rainbows, every free minute I have I’m pouring through her blog like it’s a best seller. Why I’m so invested in someone’s life I’ve never met and may never meet is beyond me, but this woman is hands down the most inspiring, incredible, motivating human being on the face of the earth. She single handedly along with her incredible son Gavin who is gone too soon, have reminded me what life is about. What is important in life, and helped me get back to a place I haven’t been in a long, long time.

It’s been so long I don’t even remember when I was here before.

Here, in this place called content. Called happy. Called appreciating life.

I had thought I would do an end of year post, and then with being sick (omg! I had H1N1 and was so sick. Luckily I didn’t know what I had until I was well or I would have been freaking out) and then enjoying the holidays and getting out of town for a week I just haven’t taken the time to write.

But tonight as I took a shower I remembered the way I felt the morning after I found Kate’s blog and how much I appreciated that shower, and I realized it wasn’t just THAT shower, it’s been every shower since.

I’ve chosen to be happy.

I choose to stop focusing on the negative and stop worrying about what I don’t have, but still want, and start appreciating all that’s around me. I’ve spent so long being sad and so long wishing for things that I have zero control over, I forgot what happy felt like.

It sure is peaceful.

It sure takes less work to be happy than it does to be sad and depressed.

Nothing new has happened. Nothing has changed in my life at all.  It’s me that’s changed. I got tired of hearing myself complain and not having a solution I could control. I’m funny that way, I’m not a rehasher, so spending the past 4? 6? 7? 8? years so miserable and sad hasn’t really worked for me. Life is full of challenges, you have a choice, to sit and dwell or to move on and smile and live your life.

Life isn’t fair. I’ve been hearing that almost my entire life (thanks Mom & Dad!). And Kate, of all people is BY FAR the best example I could ever share of someone who has been hit with one not fair thing after another. And then another. And of course, there’s always another. But she takes it in stride. She admits she has those moments of sad. The moments of despair. The moments of that ugly cry when there’s nothing else TO do. But she picks herself up, dusts herself off and moves on, and knows that these challenges thrown at her and her family were meant to shape her into the woman she is, and they’re just that, challenges, meant to be conquered. Meant to be beaten and meant to be fought.

Maybe that’s why Kate inspires me so much. We are so much alike. I mean REALLY alike. In a creepy, quirky, omg I don’t know anyone else like this kind of way. And maybe because I see myself in her and her stories of her life, that’s why in all these years of being on the other side of happy, therapy, medicine, friends, family……..nothing has helped me like she has.

Nothing has inspired me to take a look at ME until now.

So I guess this IS my first post of 2014……..I’ve chosen to be happy.

I will focus on the blessings in my life that I’m so grateful for.

I’m done dwelling on the negative.

The bad things that have happened to me.

The things that I have wanted all my life but still can’t reach.

I’ve lived SO MUCH LIFE in these 38 years and I’ve come so far from where I was just 10 years ago, I need to stand back and be proud of me.

I need to look around me every day and be proud of the things I HAVE accomplished.

The independent life I lead.

The gorgeous condo I rent.

An inspirational Nana who at 94 is sharp as a tack and one of my favorite people to talk to.

My wonderful parents who I’m grateful and lucky are in good health.

My brother and my amazing sister(-in-law) whom I’d be miserable without. We share a bond that only siblings can share, and no matter what, we will always share. I’m sorry it took me 38 years to appreciate it like it do now.

The extended family I’ve connected with on my own through Facebook, that I’ve been fortunate enough to forge a bond and relationship with, that I cherish more than I could ever express.

The “chosen family” I’ve been so fortunate to create and share so much with.

AMAZING friends both near and far, that have taught me more than I could ever thank them for and continue to remind me how lucky I am on a daily basis. ❤

My amazing dogs that I’ve kept alive (shockingly!!) for 8 years and 2.5 years.

My freedom!

My strength in the eye of adversity.

The gumption I had in 1999 to leave the world of radio and branch out into the crazy world of the internet. And then again in 2007 when I decided I needed to do something that would heal my soul. And make me smile and feel fulfilled every day.

The giggles & hugs & kisses of those 3 little munchkins I’m so lucky to have in my life and be able to share some truly awesome experiences with, including watching them develop and grow into incredible human beings.

The quiet kid-free nights and weekends where my only responsibility is to ME. 🙂

This year I choose to be happy.

I choose to see the good around me.

I choose to find happiness and fulfillment in the tiniest of things.

I choose to chase rainbows.

I choose to be grateful….and thankful….and appreciative, because with all I’ve got……I’m one lucky girl!


Footnote: when I finished writing this post I went back and re-read my previous post that was from the morning after I found Chasing Rainbows, Kate’s blog. How amazing that such a small act by two amazing friends who were just “liking” a picture on FB truly helped to change my life. Thank you Taylor and Susie! xoxo

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