to the ‘lil man in my life…..

today is a year since we met.

you came into our lives sorta at a saunter, not exactly quickly. for god’s sakes you were late! 😉

you had my heart from the moment i saw you. just like your siblings.

your tiny little feet. your sweet little lips. your little fluff of brown hair.

i held you for the first time and i remember thinking how monumental that was. it was a year ago today. you were 1 day old.

it’s been quite a year, and you’ve been there through it all. people may not understand, but when you don’t have colleagues or coworkers, the children in your life become your sidekicks or partners in crime.

you’ve made me a better person.

you’ve helped me become who i’m meant to be.

in the year since you arrived i found my voice.

i found my inner traci.

i lost 50 lbs.

i look in the mirror and don’t recognize that reflection looking back at me, but i know its me.

YOU motivated me.

YOU helped me do this.

YOU have been there through the laughter and the tears.

without you, i don’t know how i would’ve gotten through some days.

you are an angel.

you are a love-bug.

you make my heart explode every single time i see your face.

before you arrived i didn’t know how i possibly had room to love another child. i love your brother and sister with all that i am, how could i possibly love another. and yet do i ever.

somehow, we are bonded. i don’t know what it is, but i feel something special between us.

maybe it’s my projecting, knowing you could very well be the last baby that i raise.

the last of the firsts as your mommy so eloquently calls them.

you have a heart of gold lil man, and i am so lucky to be a part of your world.

i can’t ever tell you how grateful i am for all that you’ve done for me, just by being you.

when i’m not with you, you are always on my mind and in my heart.

no matter where you are, no matter where i am, i will ALWAYS be here for you. for your brother and your sister.

i love you like you are my own.

i want only what’s best for you. for you to be happy.

always be true to yourself.

you’re the apple of my eye and i wish you a very happy 1st birthday.

i love you brady bear! xoxo

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