i guess this should be my yom kippur post. the past day and a half are the holiest of times during the year. our time to repent and ask for forgiveness for mistakes made intentionally or unintentionally. for hurting others. for gossiping. for cheating. for doing anything we feel we need to repent for. this can be done privately and normally is, but others choose to apologize to those that they have wronged.
i spent the time thinking about the past year. where i’ve gone wrong. things i may have said to hurt others, things i may have done unintentionally and hurt another. how i can fix that. what i can do to make this year better. more fulfilling and mostly happier.
one of the things i’ve decided it’s time to do is a bucket list of sorts. i’m 37 years old and there is so much i haven’t done. and there’s always a reason. no time. no money. other things going on, work being busier than usual. but, maybe if i put it out there, some of the things i want to do i know right off the bat without thinking much, like visiting Australia. but just under the surface, lying dormant there ARE things that lie as something i’d like to try to do, before i’m 40. before i’m 50. before i’m 60. and so on.
i’m going to start working on this list…..
- i want to become more spiritual.
- i want to take more time for me.
- i want to travel both locally and internationally.
- spend more time playing and less time worrying.
- more time enjoying each moment for what it is, rather than what it’s not.
- i want to be less jealous and more appreciative.
- i want to return to running. outside. with the music blasting in my ears.
- i want to appreciate the job security i have, stop worrying and be so grateful and blessed and enjoy that comforting feeling. and enjoy knowing that i AM going to see those babies grow up and continue to be part of that process.
- i want to be happier more and angry less.
- i want to wake up with the feeling of hope each day.
i want this year to be a better year whatever it is meant to bring me. i am blessed with two families, my genetic family whom i love and could not live without. well sometimes i can. just kidding. and i’m also blessed with my chosen family, calen, leah and now brady are my work but they are also my reason for being. they keep me going. they motivate me to be a better person. to learn more. to know more. to show them more. i hope this year to be able to be more patient with them. to continue to help them being the best they can be.
- i want to write more.
- i want to visit my nana more.
- i want to go visit friends more.
- i want to be less afraid and more trusting. time has passed, old wounds need to heal.
- i want to be better at saying nice things rather than snarky and sarcastic ones.
- i want to take a class.
- i want to take care of me.
i want to find happiness in all that i have, all that i will still hope to accomplish, all that i love and………to enjoy the ride on the way! ~ traci xoxo.