i don’t know how, but somehow, a very firm sense of loyalty was instilled in me as a child. i NEVER expect from anyone else what i wouldn’t give in return, and, i expect that you will support me in my endeavors, whatever they might be, OR be a friend enough to love me and tell me why said plan isn’t a good one.
i decided to see what American Heritage’s definitions were for loyalty and friendship:
loy·al·ty, noun, plural loy·al·ties.
- the state or quality of being loyal; faithfulness to commitments.
- an example or instance of faithfulness, adherence, or the like: a man with fierce loyalties.
- a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
- a person who gives assistance; supporter
this post is about relationships and how they’ve changed since social media. how we value our friendships both on and offline and some questions i’m hoping people will share THEIR feedback and opinions.
i know i expect a lot from my friends, but i never ever expect anything i don’t give of myself.
i have found it harder and harder to find people who see friendship as a two-way street. which it is; a good friendship, like a marriage requires care, and compassion and thoughtfulness. it requires give and take. it calls for selflessness at times.
i know i’m not the only one that looks for these qualities or wants these qualities in the people in their lives. i know other people like me exist.
i’ve been fortunate enough in my adult life to make new friends along the way. some of which have become some of the closest people to me. i’ve started learning that length of time one is friends with someone, really means nothing but, history.
what matters is how you are treated.
how you feel when you are with that friend.
whom you feel drawn to when shit hits the fan and you really need someone to listen.
i find myself wondering about the difference for those of us that are so ensconced in social media feel about our friendships and how we value them differently (maybe) than others do.
i’ve made several friends online.
i’ve reconnected with several people on facebook.
and i have lots of twitter friends across the country whom i share things with, we exchange gifts and pleasantries when birthdays come or babies are born, milestones are hit, tragedies strike us down but likely, sadly, we will never have the opportunity to meet in real life (IRL) but these people matter. they matter A LOT in our day-to-day lives.
those of us who don’t work in an office situation, find connecting online with others going through what we are, as an alternative to having co-workers, or at least that’s how i’ve always thought of it.
it’s our water-cooler talk, gossiping, catching up on the latest news and celebrity stories and the ability to share and talk to people about the shows and movies you watch, which for someone who lives alone is an awesome ability. it’s hard to watch tv and not have anyone to talk to about it RIGHT NOW!!
but lately i really wonder…..
do you value new friends as much as old friends?
loyalty is 150% one of the most important things to me, and once you’ve lost it, you can’t get it back. and i expect the same loyalty i show my friends to show me. and if they can’t, then they weren’t the right friend for me.
i’m not pointing fingers, i’m just curious. social media has changed everything and i’m fascinated by it.
both because i worked in the field long before it was something any of you used daily, and because it has now become my window to the outside world 24/7, 365 since i spend so much time alone or at home with children.
today my feelings are hurt. later, that will pass. i will move on and i will realize who and what is important to me.
i guess i just feel a little like a chump right now.
for the record, i think this is a human issue, not a product of the internet.
YOU chose what kind of friend you will be.
the internet has not made people become poor friends, it’s the choices WE make and the decisions we make as to who we find important in our lives and who we feel we can just discard.
this has been on my mind for a little over a week now and i just can’t stop thinking about. this morning something eye-opening happened and i decided it was time to share and time to see how YOU feel.
thanks for listening, i hope you’ll share how you feel.
~ traci xoxo