i promise you a laugh…

I have never used this space to tell a story like this, but my god, have I got a HILARIOUS toddler story!! I’ve been babysitting for more than 20 years, I’ve spent many hours watching kids in a school setting as well, andn never have I had happen to me what happened to me tonight.

Somehow kids ALWAYS say some of the funniest things to me. I don’t know why. I don’t know if it’s because I engage them in normal adult conversation and they respond with their toddler wit. Or what.  But nothing will top tonight.

I would change the names here to protect the innocent, but the innocent here can’t read!! 🙂

Leah is 2 years, 4 months (28 months old). She isn’t potty trained although she does go for hours at a time in underwear at school, for fun. We aren’t pushing it, she’s young and with a baby on the way it’s not the time to be making major changes in her life. And we are all great with that.  It worked well with Calen, and I have no doubt when she’s ready we’ll know and that will be that.

Ok, I digress. So we have this little nighttime situation that she shits poops approximately 30 minutes after we put her down to sleep. Not every night, but some.  There’s no predictability nor correlation with what I’ve fed her, if we keep her up later, trust me, I’ve tried every possible scenario. It just is what it is.

The kids share a room so our usual routine now is that when we go and put Calen down an hour later we take Leah and change her if we smell or feel anything suspect.  Tonight I was alone with the kids and since I’ve noticed recently that Leah’s comprehension of things is astonishing, I decided to explain to her that IF she poops, instead of laying down and going to sleep, she should yell for me and I will come in and change her, no big deal! She says, “OK Saci”. She goes to sleep.

I watch the baby monitor intermittently as I was bathing Calen and getting him through his nighttime routine and I remember remarking to myself how quiet Leah had been and how tired she must have been to go to sleep so quickly and quietly, she’s a yacker.

So, 8:10pm rolls around, time for Calen to go down to sleep. I carry him into their room, plop him in his bed, and we both comment to each other we don’t smell poop (what does a 5 year old boy like to talk about MORE than poop and farts?), but I’ve left the hallway light on and I’m going over to check Leah, before I tuck him in and walk out for the night.

Their room isn’t small, but it isn’t so big either. And this isn’t one of my favorite activities, not because of the poopy diaper but because i HATE waking children and Leah pops awake and will start having a whole conversation with you stalling bedtime, so as I walk towards the crib I do it with some amount of trepidation. Mind you, it’s dark, all there is is a CARS nightlight and a hallway light on, but nothing else.  As I approach the crib, I realize that there is something not resembling a pacifier or teeth up on the side of the crib. (The railing? What is that called?) Anyway, so I get closer, I hone in, and realize, IT’S A TODDLER SHIT BALL.

I grab a baby wipe, pick it up, and throw it in the toilet, no big deal, and then proceed to pick her up out of her crib which btw sustained no visible damage from this to give her a complete diaper change.

I lay her gingerly on the changing table, she rubs her eyes awake, she gets this HUGE proud grin and says, “I left you my poopy over there for you Saci. I did it!”.

Calen and I couldn’t stop giggling.  Once I did, I re-explained that taking off her diaper and taking poop out of her diaper were indeed the same thing and she knew that that was a job at home ONLY for “Mommy, Daddy or Traci hands” (something we ALL repeat at least 55 times per hour by the way). She looked at me sorta sad and apologized, and I told her it was okay because it was clear she was not doing it to be a trouble maker but merely THOUGHT she had understood my directions.

We’re getting there……one poop at a time! 😉

Kids will be kids!!!

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