i decided to start a new feature on my blog in an effort to help organize my thoughts. an organization that has touched my heart (the joyful heart foundation) uses ‘things i’m thankful for thursday’ on it’s facebook page and its touched a nerve with me so i decided to try it out as a weekly blog feature. several times in the past couple of weeks i’ve caught myself teary eyed. things that are little, but touched me deep enough to cause tears. i’m okay being a sap. its take me 30+ years to be able to cry freely (after being sent to my room too many times to count as a child for crying, i’ll save that for another post!) and i’m okay with it.
what i’m most thankful for this thursday is calen & leah. in a myriad of ways. first and foremost in these uncertain economic times, i’m grateful that i have a reliable job, were i’m appreciated and treated with respect. i earn my income taking care of the two most important people in their parents lives and i take that seriously. i’m thankful for their family and extended family that treat me like i am part of their family. i don’t take this for granted, although it means more to me than i could ever properly articulate.
but calen & leah are more to me than a job. they stand for all that has been missing in my life. they have given me the opportunity to understand unconditional love. how to be so freaking frustrated at someone one minute and over-flowing with love the next. how to put my needs to the side and take care of them first and foremost. they’ve made me realize my abilities that i knew i was capable of, but haven’t had the chance to utilize since i’m not yet a mommy.
i look at them both, and think how important a performance review used to be in my life. and i see them and think to myself how they’re like walking, talking little performance reviews of my last 3 1/2 years of work.
i’m thankful for the love they return to me on a daily and hourly basis. without it, i don’t know how i’d get through some days. knowing, that to those little people, i’m the next most important person in their every day lives to their mommy & daddy keeps me going at the roughest of moments.
i hope someday to be a mommy, but in the meantime, i am so grateful for all of the love and attention i can give to calen & leah. they have helped to make me whole at a time in my life where i didn’t think that would ever be possible. they’ve give me a purpose, a positive outlook and a reason to hope for the future.